Sanity, please!

08Jan09

As I mentioned yesterday, we are attempting to move up our wedding date because I am frightfully sick of the planning process. I was able to find a date in September that worked for both the venue and our caterer. I told the venue we were interested in September 26th, but were waiting on a new menu from the caterer, since this would now be a lunch affair, but also taking place in a month where the venue charges higher fees, so I wanted to lower the food costs in order to stay on budget.

The venue coordinator writes me back today saying she’s holding 9/26 for us and has rebooked our original date of 11/14. Cue: freak-out of massive proportions. Yes, I was thinking about moving the date, but had not decided for sure yet. Just because you have another bride interested in our date, does not mean you just give it away without my permission! I say as much (in a nicer way, as I am not a total lunatic) in an e-mail. She responds that “of course she hasn’t given away my date!” I think either a) she did give away our date and was now backpedaling or b) she really hadn’t and just meant that the other bride definitely wanted my date and was going to go forward with booking once I moved our date.

I was freaking out Vegas style and my co-workers and friend and mom were freaking out with me. When I said that I just didn’t want a wedding, they told me I was being silly and of course I wanted a wedding. I didn’t take this well, but it’s because I was mad. They know me. They know I DO want a wedding and were trying to calm me down, but I was being Little Miss Irrational.

So, rather than just canceling it and getting our deposit back, we will still have our wedding there. The coordinator is a bit spacy, but is nice and sent me an e-mail saying everything will work out as I want it. She’s right. I’m not going to obsess about a date. If someone books September 26th in the next 72 or so hours until we settle all this stuff, then they were also available on September 19th. If that date books, we will have a Friday night reception in September. I just don’t care any longer. I refuse to obsess about this! If we have a Friday night reception and only 20 people are there, then it will be a super intimate night with people that truly love us.

My new motto is: If we can’t make it happen before the wedding, it’s not happening. If we can’t find a florist, we’ll do it ourselves. If we can’t find an officiant, we will ordain one of our mouthy friends on the internet. We will buy bridesmaids dresses off the rack. I will not lose my mind over this wedding. I’m also removing any blogs that make me feel bad about our wedding from my reader and am actively on the hunt for more practical brides to add to my reader and my blog roll.

I knew I was coming close to cuckoo when last night the boy told me that my future brothers-in-laws (brother-in-laws? Which one is right?) wanted to wear orange and heather blue tuxedos to our wedding. They’re part of the wedding party. Now this is a funny image, but my response was “YOU TOLD THEM NOT TO EVEN TRY IT, RIGHT?!”

Of course they wouldn’t try it. They’re not assholes. But I am losing my sense of humor and my sanity and over what, a wedding? So not worth it. We will make it work and it will be wonderful, no matter when the wedding is. I am glad for my freak-out because it’s made me realize that I don’t need to have a wedding that’s featured in magazines or in bridal blogs. Most weddings aren’t, and that doesn’t mean they weren’t wonderful and very meaningful to the bride and groom.

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