My biggest wedding faux pas.

24Jul09

I have to admit I made a major goof during my wedding planning. I’ve discussed my plans with my co-workers, and they’re not invited to the wedding. Now, before you judge too harshly, let me explain myself. I’ve been looking for a new job forEVER. When I got engaged last year, I figured I’d be at a new job by now. Well, with the bottom dropped out of the economy shortly after we got engaged, so that’s obviously not happening right now.

Secondly, I’m the type of person when I’m excited, I tell everyone. When I got engaged, I told pretty much everyone I encountered that I knew even slightly, and since I work in a firm with 400+ people, that means a lot of people know I’m engaged and when I’m getting married, and when I run into them, they’ll ask how my planning is going.

Of course most of these workplace acquaintances are not expecting a wedding invitation. My direct co-workers in my department? That’s a different story. Some of them have said they don’t expect to be invited, where others have indicated that they will be. I’m hoping that if I remind them I’m getting married over 90 minutes away from DC that that will placate them and they’ll actually be GLAD they’re not invited. Our wedding is at 12:00 pm, so they’d have to get up pretty early to make it on time.

Still, I’m expecting some flack for this, and frankly? I deserve it. I should not discuss plans for a wedding with people who are not invited. It’s rude, and I will be the first to admit that I messed up on this. Still, my co-workers are petty at best, and are a very gossipy group who I’m sure talk trash about me on a daily basis, so this isn’t really that different. That said, I’m not looking forward to them finding out they’re not invited. I’m sticking to my guns, though. I’m not planning on staying at this job forever, so I don’t really care if I get the cold shoulder from some people because they were invited to the wedding. If that’s how they want things to be, eh, who cares! I’ll be the bigger person.

I am inviting old bosses from my previous two jobs, and I hope they can make it. One has told me she’s going to try, and the “bosses” from my last job are actually a mother, father and son. I’m really not expecting them to come, but I would be so happy if they would, especially the mother, she was like my second mom to me. She drove me nuts, but she always brought me things from her many trips to Korea and tell me, “Don’t tell the others. You’re my favorite!” The last thing she said to me on my last day was “INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING!” So, well, I am! It is possible to have lasting relationships, or at the very least keep in touch with people from your old jobs, but I doubt I will with these co-workers. There’s just too much water under the bridge.

Are you inviting co-workers or your boss to your wedding?

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2 Responses to “My biggest wedding faux pas.”

  1. I have to admit that I’ve done this too…I also hoped that I’d be in a new job by now and that hasn’t happened either. To be fair, most of my coworkers asked me about it, I didn’t just bring it up. I am inviting the one coworker that I have a good relationship with and that’s it.

  2. 2 DCKate

    I don’t think your faux pas is any worse than that of your presumptive coworkers who assume they are receiving wedding invitations! I also think that unless you’re close with a coworker outside of the office, there’s usually a sort of assumed wall between work and private life. I’ve had plenty of coworkers get married in the past and heard all about their weddings, but never did it cross my mind that it meant I’d be invited! The only coworker I am inviting is from three jobs ago! 😛


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