Guest list drama already?!

30Jul09

Our invitations arrived in most of our guests’ mailboxes yesterday. Last night I get an e-mail from my mother saying my aunt e-mailed her asking if my step-cousin was invited. Uh, no? I haven’t seen this girl since I was about 13, and she was 16 and pregnant. She has a history of drug abuse and other run-ins with the law. That is only a small reason as to why she’s not invited. The major reason is that I haven’t seen her in over twenty years, and I’d only met her a few times back then.

My mother responds that they don’t want ruffled feathers, so they’ll pay for her and her boyfriend. UH, NO WAY. I think I have been a pretty damned good bride throughout my planning process. I have not asked much, if anything from our parents and bridal party. But this is one issue that I’m putting my foot down on. If I haven’t seen you since I was a child, YOU’RE NOT COMING TO MY EFFING WEDDING.

My dad’s side of the family can be pretty damned tacky. I know she’d show up, help herself to two or three servings of the buffet, have three or four beers and leave. Having them at my wedding would piss me off. So, if my behavior means I’m a bridezilla, then so be it. You’re not invited. I told my mother to have my aunt contact me directly if need be. We’re on a budget. For every extra guest, that costs us about $50 in food and rentals. We can’t afford it. We’re in a recession, so one would hope that my family would understand this!

UGH. I hate it that this has made me so damned mad, but I really don’t have much goodwill in my heart for my dad’s side of the family anyway. Of his four living brothers, I’m only somewhat close to one of them, and the others I haven’t seen since my grandfather died in 1997!

How did you deal with unwanted guests at your wedding?

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7 Responses to “Guest list drama already?!”

  1. I hear you! My mom’s side of the is beyond tacky, have lots kids/stepkids, and would show up and get drunk…so I completely know how you feel. Unfortunately, they’re my cousins, and I have to invite them or else we can’t count on any money from my family…..so we’re having the wedding in my fiance’s hometown 3 hours away from them!

    Good for you for standing up for yourself! Asserting what you want does not make you a bridezilla, you are in the right here.

    • 2 budgetbeautiful

      Yes, unfortunately these tacky relatives live close-by. That said, my mother is from Utah and I have a lot more family there than I do here, so I guess it could be worse!

  2. Girl, I had this exact same problem but it came from my Aunt who is doing my dessert table. She wasn’t down for a guest but she wanted to bring one and her partner to bring one. Oh and because they are all adults they went to my g’ma to complain who then went to my Mom. My g’ma offered money for their plates but noone gets the point that it is sooo rude and insulting.

    Good luck with that!

    • 4 budgetbeautiful

      It IS insulting that people put their own selfish desires in front of what the bride and groom want. I can’t believe the immaturity level of grown people when it comes down to weddings!

  3. We’re having a LOT of problems with this too – both of our families keep trying to add extra people, several whom we’ve never met. It’s been extremely frustrating trying to deal with this. Good luck to you!

    • 6 budgetbeautiful

      Good luck to you too! I think most of us are having to deal with this! Ugh.

  4. I really do not understand these issues. Whilst I understand if parents are paying they should have an opinion. Why on earth does the random 3rd cousin who I have never met get an invite?



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